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It’s not that!

I have just rung the doctor’s up to find out if the results from my recent blood tests for thyroid function had come back and guess what, it’s not that!  So now I will have to see my doctor and try to get to the bottom of why I am feeling so tired and jaded all the time, plus my other symptoms.

I am now stumped, so I will have to wait and see what she advises.  As no letter or phone call had appeared I rang the surgery to find out the results.

Hmm, don’t know what to think now, although a friend on my other blog on Live Spaces has said that I could be anaemic so will just have to wait and see.

Trouble is K is off into the wide blue yonder this afternoon for a week (respite) whooping it up with all her parties to attend, places to go, things to do etc, etc, thus leaving me in this lethargic state where I am going to have a devil of a job to entice myself to function properly.  This is when I tend to get a little scared.  In the past, it has been because of my commitment to look after K that has kept me from teetering over the edge and ending up in hospital having to be treated.

She has kept me going, because I had to do so for her sake, and when she goes to respite and I feel as I do now, I really begin to panic. At one time I used to enjoy being on my own, but not now. These last few years I have tended to need her more than she needs me.  Our roles have reversed in a sense, and in a way she has taken on the role as carer and I have become the vulnerable one.

All this is so out of character to the independent person that I used to be. I saw my cousin have to endure having to go into hospital for treatment for her depression.  She didn’t have another person who relied on her to take care of them in the same way that I have.  You can’t ‘turn inwards’ on yourself if someone is reliant on you for their needs, they have to come first and foremost in everything you do.

Did you know that there is a higher incidence of depression in carer’s? Why? Well I’m afraid that I don’t have the answer.

So, off to the doc’s first thing Monday.  See what she thinks and says. Will keep you all posted on the outcome.  Sorry to be dwelling so much on me and my symptoms, will try to lighten up in future!

TG Disappointed

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9 thoughts on “It’s not that!

  1. Hiya T.G. The news from your doctor is not all bad. At least your thyroid problem is not getting any worse. I assume they shall be doing further tests to find out exactly what is making you feel so poorly. Of course you are bound to worry, especially as you will be on your own, for a week. You must be strong, now, for yourself and not panic. Remember, your friends are here to lend a sympathetic ear. Pen.

  2. Thanks for that reassurance Penny. Its not like me to post about my ills, I don’t really like doing it, but just wanted my friends on here and my LiveJournal blog to know why I hadn’t been posting so much. Did you go to see your doctor Penny? I hope that you did. Take care TG

  3. I can’t add anything that Penny hasn’t already said. I do hope your doctor can help sort you out on Monday. I think I’d be lost if my Chris took off for a few days… I couldn’t manage without him… or I think I couldn’t. I expect I could and I am sure you will manage without K around. It will mean less work around the place? Do take care and please keep us up-to-date with how you are… That’s what friends are for. We can worry about you.

  4. Worry. The thing they call depression these days TG. Solve the worries and everything is back to normal but doctors are always looking for problems there tablets can solve. All the time you are waiting for results, they are building up more pressure and so more worries. After my DMSA Scintigram scan yesterday, they refused to let me see them and insisted I must wait until my surgeon has seen them, who will then give me the results.That is Next Wednesday morning, hours before I go down for the major surgery. As it happened, the position I was in for the last one, I was able to see a little of the outcome. Enough to know why my 4 day admission into hospital is now at least 14 days. I shall be certain to lose more weight, but this time, by the amount of my body they are going to have to cut out. On the bright side though, my left kidney and everything on that side, looked perfectly normal to me, so I have been able to cut some of the worry by knowing.Much of illness I have found over the years is worry related, and many a friend I have had who after having stroke or heart attacks, can later look back and think of things they were worrying about at the time.Try to relax and again, that is easier said than done. Is there something you would love to do but can’t if you take K with you? Do it now, even if it is to phone a friend and sneak into the local cinema and treat yourself to a choc-ice, popcorn or something just as illicit at our ages.Maybe even a session of the Bingo with your neighbour/friend or even a girls night out for a meal and company. K is not the B-all and end all of your life, although she is your world. Be wicked while she is away and spoil yourself and take your mind of things even for an hour. You will feel better!.Take CareLove and WishesBarry

  5. I know that feeling, TG. When the pressure is off one feels strangely bereft. Good advice to give yourself some little treats – without the feeling of guilt.Wishing you well.Bunny xx

  6. You are all so wonderful, now I am crying because of your helpful comments! I plan to keep myself busy as a bee this week, get all those Christmas card written, presents wrapped, go out every day no matter what the weather taking lots of snaps to show on here, do lots of blogging about nothing in particular, read everyone elses blogs, listen to the Phil Spector Christmas Album (the one we all hear blasting out every year as we troll through the supermarkets) and pull myself out of it! Take hold, regain control, pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again…… thanks to all of you, you are great!

  7. Like you I suffer from depression… but mine is caused by having a progressive condition, I have to fight it everyday and only awoke to my condition when I found myself sitting on the edge of the bed with 200 painkillers, at this point I shook myself awake and realised how all my family and friends would miss me. I have had councilling and refuse to take drugs but to be honest my friends have been the biggest help. After I opened up to good friends on Spaces I found it easier to admit I had problems to friends at home as well… Talking and writing about my depression has caused me to be more at ease with my health issues and therefore although I have not cured my depression it has slid away more into the distance. Talk is good but writing about it has helped me even more, I see you have real friends here which is good. Some of the comment below are wonderfully helpful for you and I detect your replies show real strength on your part…. Keep going things will get betterLove The Fatman X

  8. Well, if you have any questions, feel free to message or email me. I am, after all, a shrink. Beyond that, I have been living with a chronic major depressive disorder for about 30+ years now, so I’m aware of how it works and feels from the outside in and inside out. Living alone hasn’t made me feel terribly secure, either, but I know that I’m being well protected by my two fat attack cats, Bittle and Stinky.Peace, Doc

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