I have just rung the doctor’s up to find out if the results from my recent blood tests for thyroid function had come back and guess what, it’s not that! So now I will have to see my doctor and try to get to the bottom of why I am feeling so tired and jaded all the time, plus my other symptoms.
I am now stumped, so I will have to wait and see what she advises. As no letter or phone call had appeared I rang the surgery to find out the results.
Hmm, don’t know what to think now, although a friend on my other blog on Live Spaces has said that I could be anaemic so will just have to wait and see.
Trouble is K is off into the wide blue yonder this afternoon for a week (respite) whooping it up with all her parties to attend, places to go, things to do etc, etc, thus leaving me in this lethargic state where I am going to have a devil of a job to entice myself to function properly. This is when I tend to get a little scared. In the past, it has been because of my commitment to look after K that has kept me from teetering over the edge and ending up in hospital having to be treated.
She has kept me going, because I had to do so for her sake, and when she goes to respite and I feel as I do now, I really begin to panic. At one time I used to enjoy being on my own, but not now. These last few years I have tended to need her more than she needs me. Our roles have reversed in a sense, and in a way she has taken on the role as carer and I have become the vulnerable one.
All this is so out of character to the independent person that I used to be. I saw my cousin have to endure having to go into hospital for treatment for her depression. She didn’t have another person who relied on her to take care of them in the same way that I have. You can’t ‘turn inwards’ on yourself if someone is reliant on you for their needs, they have to come first and foremost in everything you do.
Did you know that there is a higher incidence of depression in carer’s? Why? Well I’m afraid that I don’t have the answer.
So, off to the doc’s first thing Monday. See what she thinks and says. Will keep you all posted on the outcome. Sorry to be dwelling so much on me and my symptoms, will try to lighten up in future!