Some of you might vaguely remember my moans and groans earlier this year regarding our new recycling scheme where all householders in our particular authority were issued with a various assortment of containers intended to be used for sorting out all of your rubbish and recycling it.. Just to refresh your memory HERE is the post in question. In common with other authorities, amongst the numerous containers issued was a wheelie bin per household, and being typical of this rather morose damp dismal part of Yorkshire, a black wheelie bin. Every resident received one, parked at the edge of each residents path.
Any resident over the age of 60 or who considered themselves incapable for any reason of being able to cope with pushing said wheelie bin could be exempt from having to us it and could instead, following a home visit by a council official to assess if you truly are incapable or too old to deal with said wheelie bin, continue to use their previous bin instead and be issued with five black refuse sacks per fortnights collection. On our particular estate, which contains quite a few elderly persons bungalows, wheelie bins were not issued to those premises as it was taken for granted that any resident of the aforementioned bungalows would be incapable of coping with said wheelie bins.
Now we come to the mystery, and please readers correct me if I have completely misunderstood the whole idea behind the introduction of wheelie bins. You see I presumed that the reason for issuing everyone with a wheelie bin was to cut down on the time taken for the dustbin men to do their rounds. In other words, that residents were supposed to fill the wheelie bin with rubbish, then on collection day WHEEL said wheelie bin to the kerb edge of the road so that all the dustbin men had to do was place each wheelie bin into the wheelie bin tipping mechanism where it would then empty into the container at the back of the dustbin wagon, and then the dustbin man would then retrieve the wheelie bin and move onto the next ones. This would both cut down the time taken to empty everyone’s bins and also need far fewer men. And the reality?
Not one resident around here has actually been seen pushing their wheelie bin anywhere. (well I did. Once. Before the visit by a lady from the council to check that I am incapable of moving said wheelie bin, or that I am REALLY over the age of 60.) Add to that the fact that I am the oldest resident in this block of flats by a long way. Granted, our estate is laid out in such a way that quite a few of the premises are not directly near the edge of the road. So any wheelie bins belonging to these premises would require a walk to the kerb side by said residents, but not an impossible task by any means, seeing as a 65 year old Granny did do just that one week. (and then had to do the return journey to fetch it back to its resting place.) However, even some of the residents who’s premises ARE next to the road don’t bother wheeling their bins anywhere either! Instead they have placed them permanently on the pavement next to the roadside, and I presume that they then bring their bags of rubbish from their respective premises and place them in the wheelie bins as needed.
Now one could be forgiven for thinking that maybe someone had forgotten to place any wheels on the bottom of said wheelie bins thereby rendering them incapable of being pushed by even the strongest of residents, or maybe they are so heavy that its too hard to push them from their parked spot. Or perhaps the residents are unaware of what role they are supposed to play in this wheelie bin saga. Perhaps they are all unaware that they are supposed to wheel them to the kerb side? To save time? What makes me laugh (well not in a literal sense but in a ironic sense) is that in reality its now taking the bin men far longer to empty everyone’s bins than it did before when we all had those old type bins (which we all still have by the way. They were supposed to be collected up but they are still there taking up our bin areas) Why is it now taking the bin men so much longer to do their rounds? Because now they have to nearly immerse themselves head first into the wheelie bins in order to retrieve everyone’s bags of rubbish from them, and they are still having to go to everyone’s premises in order to do so. Okay, so the actual collection is now once a fortnight instead of once a week, but still, if I were assessing the results of the distribution and usage of said wheelie bins upon refuse collection time and motion, I would consider it to be a complete and utter failure.
Added to that, there is the other thing as well. You all should be pretty familiar by now with how my mind works. The first thing that popped into this Granny’s head the day that all of our wheelie bins were left parked at the end of our paths? You could fit a dead body in one of those. I can just see it now, ‘The Wheelie Bin Murders’ by T.G. Gran.