Home » rant » Making breakfast in 2011.

Making breakfast in 2011.

You will require one pair of pliers, a  pair of very sharp scissors, a sharp knife and one or two packets of plasters in case of accidents.

Utensils required for making breakfast Plasters

Add an extra ten minutes or so  onto any cooking time to allow for penetration of the packaging surrounding most of the ingredients.


1. Open the Tropicana orange juice container by turning the knob anti-clockwise with the pair of pliers.  Once you have managed to turn the knob and open the container, pour the  orange juice from the container into some glasses.

opening Tropicana

2. Whilst the grill is heating up, take out the grill pan and using either the scissors or the sharp knife, proceed to penetrate the packaging containing the bacon and also the packaging around the sausages.

Opening Bacon Opening Pork Sausages

3. As soon as you have managed to make headway into the packaging, take out the bacon and the sausages and place on the rack in the grill pan.  Place the grill pan under the heated grill.

4. If serving mushrooms as well, you will also need to use exactly the same method to access those inside their plastic packaging. Peel said mushrooms and place onto the grill rack with the bacon and sausages.

opening mushrooms

5. The eggs are fairly straight forward to open as they are packaged in a cardboard box  which has a very handy ‘push in’ type opener which therefore does not require any use of  either the knife or scissors.

Caged eggs

6. Once everything is cooked thoroughly, serve onto warmed plates.

7. Use the plasters if you cut yourself with either the utensils or any sharp parts of the packaging.

NOTE! Dispense of all packaging into the correct containers provided by your local council for that purpose!

TG   I don't know smile

20 thoughts on “Making breakfast in 2011.

  1. LOL thanks for that.

    This just shows another benefit of supporting local business. Use your local butcher and green grocer and most of this impossible packaging is avoided. Well except the juice.

    The packaging on ink cartridges and things like that is even worse. Like a special high strength plastic bubble.

  2. all this modern packaging is not for the feint of heart, TG, I sometimes resort to teeth, but I also reach for the nearest tool that’s handy, usually a pair of scissors wielded with a lot passion. Made me smile with this one, wryly mind you!! 😀 xPenx

  3. Great, Sandra! I would like your take on the metal bottletop which doesn’t snap, and just goes round….and….round?

    • That’s certainly a tricky one Bunny! You could do a spin with it of course, thought that wouldn’t get you to the contents. I usually try hitting it (in desperation!) with a hefty hammer, or simply giving up and throwing the whole bottle in the bin. (Sorry, bottle container!)

    • Yes Tricia, your stumped without the necessary tackle in hand. I think that the tops are put on by machine, and it does tend to tighten them far too much. (Unless I am just unlucky and get the overtightened ones.)

  4. Ingenious ways and very logically dealt with I say!
    My bugbear is the child proof medications on items for the elderly with no children in or ever likely to be in the vicinity off. And the seals on plastic bottles of milk, and the foil as well as the lids on margarine tubs, and the clear film on ready meals. I have to open every thing for Kath who has arthritus and partial vision and would starve in a house full of food because of the difficulty in getting through the packaging.

    • I agree Anne! It’s as if they don’t want us to be able to get at the contents at all, and its so difficult for those who have no strength at all in their hands. There must be a better way.

  5. Hmm – beans on toast might be easier. Assuming you can find a can spanner to open the can (and aren’t faced with one of those self opening ones), can get into the spread and don’t have a problem opening a packet of teabags. Now it might be harder if you have a jar of coffee …

    • I have a can opener, but most of the can’s I open with it only seem to be willing to half open resulting in a very sharp edged lethal weapon sticking up from the can just ready to slice those fingers to bits!

  6. Just goes to show how even cooking has become quite the chore. Yet another reason why I need to get me a wife. She can cook and I’ll do the dishes. Even trade, no?

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