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An unwelcome visitor

As I awoke the other morning, I suddenly realised I was not alone in my bedroom. An unwelcome visitor was perched above my bed. It had cunningly placed itself right in the join where the wall butts up to the ceiling. It was a huge spider. It didn’t appear as if it had any intentions of moving, such as descending onto my bed or skittering along the wall, but I do take umbrage to any creature who decides to enter my bedroom uninvited. They are not welcome, especially when poised over my place of refuge. However, the method of disposal needed a great deal of thought on my part.


I was no longer as agile as I used to be. Would the usual method of  ‘get up close and personal and then swoop swiftly and silently with a tissue’ work? After all, creeping up unseen and with intentions to squash is not all that easy with spiders. They have lot’s of eyes and seem to have an inbuilt sense of your intentions.  I have in the past had them leap and jump out of the way despite the fact that my hand seemed to be like grease lightening as it descended on their bodies. What was important at all costs was to avoid that occurring or all I would end up with would be a very large spider scuttling around in my bed and that was the last thing I wanted.

As I stood there pondering my next move, I realised that it was probably watching me. It could for all I knew, be reading my thoughts. How do we know that spiders aren’t psychic? I worked through my options in my mind. Because he was firmly planted in the join between the wall and ceiling, tackling him with a tissue or kitchen towel would necessitate my climbing on the bed then teetering about standing on the mattress before I made my lightening strike.  Any spider worth its salt would surely see my arrival coming and also read my intentions! The other method of extermination open to me, given that he was perched so high, was to employ the vacuum cleaner, or should I say the crevice nozzle of the vacuum cleaner. Hmm.

Using the nozzle would take time to employ however, as it did need connecting together first. Would he wait around whilst I connected the means to his demise? Realising that I was wasting time pondering over it, I scurried off to the cupboard where I keep the vacuum and hastened back with it. He hadn’t moved from his spot thank goodness, so I quickly plugged the vacuum into the mains, connected all of the pipes and the crevice nozzle and switched on. Would he sense my intentions and leg it along the join? I approached apprehensively, the vacuum sounding like a jet engine taking off. Do spiders have ears? I had to be swift. Up soared the nozzle, he felt the suction and tried to wriggle against it as he disappeared from view down the nozzle and into the insides of my vacuum cleaner.

A feeling of guilt came over me as I quickly packed the nozzles into their respective holders and returned the vacuum to its cupboard. Of course, being me, I still didn’t feel at rest. That night, as I lay in bed trying to drift off to sleep, my minds eye could see him still alive inside the innards of the vacuum cleaner, making his way out of it through all the dust and fluff with only one intention, revenge! He would scuttle along the carpet into my bedroom, climb up the valance and crawl all over me as I slept! Could a spider live through the trauma of being sucked up a nozzle and into the innards of a vacuum cleaner? Only time will tell. Sad smile



18 thoughts on “An unwelcome visitor

  1. Maybe, out of kindness, you should hoover up a few flies just in case he survived. It should help mollify any thoughts of revenge he might be harbouring as well…….

  2. haha…..wooo…..at the self-taunting
    Well some may have a debate about how you should have disposed of it, I say whatever it tasks…..to be rid of it. Had I been getting sleeplessness from it i would have emptied the bag and disposed of the garbage.

  3. I, too, suspect spiders can read our thoughts—which is why I have tried to reach an understanding with them (and any other uninvited callers, cockroaches, centipedes, etc) who may chance to drop by.
    If you aren’t carrying money to help with the rent or other household costs don’t linger.

    It’s that simple, really.

  4. If you want to live and thrive, let a spider run alive, so says the old saying, In Scotland it’s considered unlucky to kill a spider. I never kill them, not because I’m superstitious, which I’m not, but because my pet hate is flies, especially bluebottles, and spiders are very good at consuming them, that apart I find them quite fascinating, I had one in my bathroom who used to come out of his hideaway every night around ten, but one night he fell in my bath when I was in it,he didn’t survive, I felt quite sad as I used to chat to him, honestly.

    • Arlene, I don’t like killing them either, but I simply couldn’t let him stay there hovering above my bed! I will have to pin a notice on my windows stating ‘Any creature who enters via this window, does so at their own risk!’

  5. Both my girls were exactly the same, they wouldn’t settle till I’d got rid of any spider they saw in the bedroom, in fact Karen went through a stage of having me look under the bed and in the wardrobe, ‘just in case’ I used to tell them they won’t hurt, till they saw Tibs being bitten in the mouth and letting out a yowl, it WAS a big spider and she was only a little baby kitten.

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