Well folks, that’s it! Following the slow deterioration of mind and body, I’ve finally flipped. Lost it completely. I might as well face facts. It’s all gone. Mind and body. Off to the clouds or the past or wherever it all disappears to. I will stop being in denial or worse, blaming external sources (or being distracted and influenced by others.)
And which incident has brought about this sudden ‘facing reality’ I hear you ask. I had a shower this morning with my glasses still on my face. More worrying was the actual time it took me to realise that the cause of my very VERY blurred view of the shampoo bottle was actually caused by my steamed up glasses. It took me at least a minute before it dawned on me. Sigh.
It’s all downhill from here!
If I have any long term readers left (or any readers at all) you will probably recall my many rants about the state of my deteriorating body over the years. Creaking knees, rubbish short term memory, (new CPU and new RAM needed I think!) constant back ache, etc etc, and how I wish we could go down to the Doctor’s and request new parts. Well it looks like some kind soul has taken pity on me and other with the same aging symptoms, and come up with this contraption! Not only that, they have kindly named it after me!
I no longer belong residing in here. It has rebelled against me, creating an alien environment that I can no longer tolerate. I ask myself every day, why did it turn against its resident occupier? Why begin to destroy the being it relies on, for food, for warmth, for comfort….
I no longer feel comfortable inside this shell, nor do I feel at home enclosed as I am inside its rebelling interior. I have never loved it, always aware that when compared to others, it was far from perfect. Too skinny all those years ago, with hardly any curves or attractiveness, now misshapen and ugly, covered in bruises, veins that hide and disappear, legs that complain in creaks and groans, hair that is too thin, skin that burns and itches, and now, it has turned against its occupant and rebelled.
Walking along the road, I pass a young woman, sleek and slim with a carefree expression, maybe thinking of her weekend and all the fun she might enjoy in the arms of a lover. She reminds me of how I used to be at that age with not a care in the world, and as we pass one another I mentally jump into her young lithe body and become young and carefree once more.
When I got up this morning, I should have been busy tidying up the flat and doing some ironing. I say should have because the moment I looked out of the window at the glorious October blue sky, and urged on by one of my blogging friends I threw caution to the winds, thought ‘Dang it!’ (or words to that effect) and armed with my trusty camera, set off on a lone adventure to who knows where. I had no idea where I would end up, I did have some letters to post so that quest would have to feature in which direction I took, but as for the rest I would let fate decide where I eventually was to land up by catching the train. So whichever train arrived first, I would venture there. This glorious October weather was far too good to waste!