Making breakfast in 2011.

You will require one pair of pliers, a  pair of very sharp scissors, a sharp knife and one or two packets of plasters in case of accidents.

Utensils required for making breakfast Plasters

Add an extra ten minutes or so  onto any cooking time to allow for penetration of the packaging surrounding most of the ingredients.

Method.

1. Open the Tropicana orange juice container by turning the knob anti-clockwise with the pair of pliers.  Once you have managed to turn the knob and open the container, pour the  orange juice from the container into some glasses.

opening Tropicana

2. Whilst the grill is heating up, take out the grill pan and using either the scissors or the sharp knife, proceed to penetrate the packaging containing the bacon and also the packaging around the sausages.

Opening Bacon Opening Pork Sausages

3. As soon as you have managed to make headway into the packaging, take out the bacon and the sausages and place on the rack in the grill pan.  Place the grill pan under the heated grill.

4. If serving mushrooms as well, you will also need to use exactly the same method to access those inside their plastic packaging. Peel said mushrooms and place onto the grill rack with the bacon and sausages.

opening mushrooms

5. The eggs are fairly straight forward to open as they are packaged in a cardboard box  which has a very handy ‘push in’ type opener which therefore does not require any use of  either the knife or scissors.

Caged eggs

6. Once everything is cooked thoroughly, serve onto warmed plates.

7. Use the plasters if you cut yourself with either the utensils or any sharp parts of the packaging.

NOTE! Dispense of all packaging into the correct containers provided by your local council for that purpose!

TG   I don't know smile

The trouble with packaging.

SNC13512 Making my  breakfast yesterday as usual, I took out an unopened carton of Tropicana orange juice from  the fridge and began trying to open it. I gripped the top as usual and tried to turn it.   It wouldn’t budge.  I gripped, grabbed, grasped, groaned, grabbed a tea towel, grabbed a dishcloth, tried this, tried that  but it still wouldn’t budge!

 Now I know that my readers will probably think that maybe Technogran has now reached the stage where her grip is not what it was, she has become weak and frail and that was the reason why the top of the carton of Tropicana wouldn’t budge, but I can assure you that is not the reason at all. Some daft person (or machine) had tightened the top so tight I honestly don’t think that Mike Tyson would have been capable of loosening  it!

So how did I eventually manage to drink  my glass of breakfast orange juice?  How did I finally get that blasted top to turn?  Pliers. Yes you read that correctly!  I had to scrabble about in my ‘odds and sods’ cupboard (where all my tackle is stored, step ladder, painting equipment, screwdrivers, paint brushes, vacuum cleaner etc, etc)  and find a pair of pliers to loosen up the top of the Tropicana orange!  I kid you not!

SNC13509 What is it all coming to,  this having to struggle to open modern day packaging?  Don’t they want us to be able to either consume  or use anything we buy?  Or is it some kind of test that we are all put through to see how determined we are to actually use/drink/ eat whatever is contained within?  I could have understood it if it had been something that was bad for me (a sort of brake to dissuade me from consuming the contents because they were unhealthy for example)  but orange juice?  I was absolutely beggared by the time I finally triumphed in loosening the offending top and pouring out the juice.

Today’s packaging is a menace in my opinion.  Either it won’t tear or won’t open, and I have done myself many an injury by trying desperately to access the contents. The worst packaging of the lot in my opinion is that ‘moulded’ type plastic usually  surrounding AV equipment such as leads, scart leads or remotes and such like. It is usually a very brittle type of plastic and though it looks good with its fancy shapes showing off its contents, its usually clamped tight shut thereby needing a pair of scissors to either cut it open or (as I once used in desperation) a hacksaw.

SNC13513 Once you have managed to get this type of packaging open, you then run the risk of being cut to ribbons by the very sharp edges left by having to cut it open, as you try desperately to subtract whatever lies within.  What is the matter with these people?  Why do they  want to torture us all by putting us through these  dreadful hurdles that we have to undergo every time we purchase  something?  Is it some kind of sick joke on behalf of manufacturers?

Ha ha! We’ll make them suffer for buying our product!”

I know this, If I could get hold of whoever it was who invented plastics I think I would cheerfully throttle him!

TG    alt